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The Script

CLAY OXEN

“Good pastor Brusic”

Written by

Mr. Chad T. Everson

1/2/2010 2:11 AM

(C) Copyright 2009 Theodore Media LLC

CHARACTERS

Sherriff Shelly    -Dr. Michelle G. Everson

Deputy Daisy Dog   -Daisy Pup

Ben the Butcher    -

The Widow          -

Kitty Kat          -

Narrator           -

Pastor Brusic      -

The Widows Butler  -

Old Man Webster    -

Scene One: The Pastor Brusic

MUSIC:             Intro Music

Narrator: “Across the west there is no town like the town of Clay Oxen.  The town is kept safe by the lovely Sherriff Shelly with the help of her trusty deputy dog Daisy.  With a dead eye and two derringers along with her trusty Winchester rifle, she takes no guff and delivers justice to all those who threaten the rule of law.

Sherriff Shelly: “Not before I had my coffee!”

Pastor brusic: “Sherriff Shelly, My parishoners demand and answer!”

Sherriff Shelly: “They can wait until I have had my Morning coffee Brusic.”

Pastor Brusic: “pastor Brusic, Sherriff!”

Sherriff Shelly: “Like I said Brusic, after my coffee!”

Narrator: “Pastor Brusic a constant bur under Sherriff Shelly’s saddle was always belly aching. Sherriff Shelly did not even try anylonger to humor the pastor after the last stunt he pulled.”

Kitty Kat: “Well, Sherriff Shelly, I almost gave up on you this mornin! I have your regular waiting on you!  (add michelle’s coffee here, low Fat, no cream)

Sherriff Shelly: “Kitty Kat, your such a blessing each morning!  I just can’t get my day started without my coffee!”

Kitty Kat: “This morning I over heard some grumbling from old man webster.  That Brusic and his congregation have raised the rent on Websters farm 200%!  They want a new pipe organ and are going to squeeze the money from their renters to get it!”

Sherriff Shelly: “Brusic, that old fool tried to corner me already this morning before I had my coffee.  I should of known he was up to no good.  He is always trying to get money out of someone.”

Kitty Kat:  “well it just is not right, poor old man webster was talking about having to move on.  He has been renting from the congregation now over 15 years and barely gets by the way it is.”

Sherriff Shelly: “Well I will have a talk with brusic, that old devil, but there may not be much I can do.  It is not against the law to raise rent.  The Congregation owns the line and it is their right, even though it does not make much sense.”

Kitty Kat: “I know if anyone can talk some sense into that old buzzard it is you Sherriff Shelly!”

MUSIC:             cue the first act closing music

Commercial

MUSIC:             cue the second act intro music

Scene Two: The Good Pastor

Sherriff Shelly:   “Brusic, Now that I have had my coffee I think i can stomach you!  what do you have to say?”

Pastor Brusic:     “Sherriff Shelly do you really think that is how you should address a man of the cloth and such an outstanding citizen such as myself?”

Sherriff Shelly:   Brusic, you and your kind do not deserve the venom of the rattler that is unfortunate enough to lay into your flesh.  I hear you are up to no good again!  What is this I hear that you are raising rent on old man webster by 200%?  Have you finally gone mad?”

Pastor Brusic:     “That is a fair price for that fine piece of land here in this growing town of Clay Oxen!  Old Man Webster, he has never set foot in our parish yet expects to rob our congregation by renting from us for next to nothing?”

Sherriff Shelly:   “Brusic, you old fool! the only reason that is fine land is because Old man webster has been breaking his back for 15 years now filling your coffers so that you can torment me and not move on like you should of long ago!  I wish I knew why that congregation keeps an old snake in the grass like you as their pastor!”

pastor Brusic:     “well if you ever joined our congregation you would know why my congregation loves my leadership and moral leadership!”

Sherriff Shelly:   “Brusic, you may have the good folk of clay oxen fooled for now but they will see the small man that you really are.  Is the new pipe organ to drown out your nonsense?”

pastor brusic:     “Sherriff shelly, you will burn in hell!  You must repent and seek my forgiveness!”

Sherriff Shelly:   “Your forgiveness? Listen Brusic, Jesus is where ever two or three are gathered in his name and I bet darn sure that you ain’t one of em!  I don’t like you, and I don’t like your influence of the good folks here in clay oxen.  you best keep your nose clean!  I can’t charge you for raising rent as it is not against the law but you are sure proving my judgement of you!  Stupid and small!”

Pastor brusic:     “Repent yee sinner! i don’t like having to work with you sherriff shelly any more then you like working with me. but as sherriff my congregation is demanding that you serve this eviction notice in the morning to old man webster!  I will be around at 8am and we can ride out there together.  you better bring that mangy dog and your Winchester, old man webster said he will not go peaceably!  Good day to you, sherriff.”

sherriff shelly:   “Daisy dog, that pastor brusic has me over a barrel!  here I am the sherriff and I have to serve an eviction notice to the wrong man!  This is not an easy job!”

Daisy Dog:         “bark”

MUSIC:             cue the second act closing music

Commercial

MUSIC:             cue the third act intro music

Scene Three: The Widow Awakens

sherriff shelly:   Well, Daisy, we better get over to the butcher and get you some lunch.  we are going to have to go talk with old man webster before I have to be on the wrong side of the right tomorrow.

daisy dog:         “bark, bark”

narrator:          What is our lovely Sherriff Shelly going to do?  Often every Sherriff has to serve an eviction notice that is unwarranted, it is part of the job that no Sherriff enjoys and all good Sherriff’s dread.  Let’s listen in as Daisy Dog devours her lunch and Sherriff Shelly bends the butcher’s ear.

Sherriff Shelly:   “Ben how many years have you been Daisy & my butcher now?”

Ben the Butcher:   “Ever since you rode into town Sherriff Shelly!”

Sherriff Shelly:   Ben you’re a member of the church congregation, what is behind the raise in rent on Old Man Websters Farm?

Ben the Butcher:   What?  Raising rent on Old Man Webster?  What are you talking about Sherriff Shelly?  Old Man Webster is my best livestock supplier.  He treats his livestock with the best care and allows me to offer such great product to all the towns folk.”

Sherriff Shelly:   Well your pastor that Brusic just demanded that I serve an eviction notice on Old Man Webster tomorrow morning!  I heard it is to purchase a new pipe organ!

Ben the Butcher:   That old crow! I am the church president and he has been angling for a new pipe organ for months now.  Sherriff Shelly, as Church President, Pastor Brusic cannot take action, or raise rents or evict good men from their farms without a majority vote of our church council.  Pastor Brusic has stepped in it finally!  I have been trying to get the good people of our congregation to send him packing now for a year!”

Sherriff Shelly:   You don’t say?  What is keeping you from sending the buzzard packing?

Ben the Butcher:   That old slick fox has stuffed the church board with old grey haired yes woman.  No offense Sherriff Shelly but even as President of the council, It is a fight each and every time I try to reform the congregation.  They all take their marching orders from the widow and she is lovelorn for the Pastor, she always has been.  I bet she does not even know what he is up too.  We have a meeting tonight, Sherriff Shelly and I can tell it is not going to be an easy one.

Sherriff Shelly:   Ben, you do your best to stop this Brusic tonight and I will talk to the widow.  Daisy will not like it if Old Man Webster has to move on and quit providing you with the vittles Deputy Daisy Dog loves each lunchtime.

Ben the Butcher:   Sherriff Shelly, the widow just ordered this roast to be delivered to her this afternoon.  If you take it over there, it may give you a reason to bend her ear!

Sherriff Shelly:   Ben, you are wise!  Come on Deputy Daisy, we have the widow to consult.

narrator:          Sherriff Shelly and Deputy Daisy Dog made a bee line to the large house the widow ruled over with her staff answering the door.

The Widows Butler: Welcome Sherriff Shelly! What do we owe the pleasure?

Sherriff Shelly:   Greetings, Deputy Daisy and I were just at Ben the Butchers and I noticed this package addressed to the widow.  I wished to talk to her anyways so I brought this delicious roast with me since I was heading this direction.  Is the Widow in?

The Widow’s Butler: Yes, and she would love to entertain the great and lovely Sherriff Shelly! It will be in all the local newspapers!  Let me take that package, and if you follow me into the parlor, I will let the widow know she has a celebrity guest!  The Lovely Sherriff Shelly!

Sherriff Shelly:   Oh, your too kind.  It is just me your local law servant.  Daisy why don’t you lay out front under the lilac tree until I finish talking with the widow?

Daisy Dog:         “bark”

The Widow:         “Sherriff Shelly! What do I owe the pleasure of your calling on this poor old widow?  It has been ten years since my poor Arthur left this world.  I am so grateful for any attention!”

Sherriff Shelly:   You look so lovely today! I brought your package from Ben the Butcher, but I wanted to talk to you about your congregation raising rent on Old Man Webster.

The Widow:         yes, It is a lovely farm and since he does not attend and tithe regularly a small increase in rent is not out of the question?  We are going to use the extra income to finally have a brand new pipe organ, just like the congregation in St. Paul!

Sherriff Shelly:   Pastor Brusic came by today to have me serve Old Man Webster an eviction notice in the morning.  Ben the butcher said that I can not act upon it until it is voted and passed by the congregation council.  And it is not a small increase in rent it is a 200% increase in rent out of the blue.

The Widow:         Oh, my!  I had no idea it was a 200% increase in rent.  The good pastor did not share with me the details, he just said to rally the girls for the vote tonight so that we could be singing to the tune of the pipe organ by Christmas! …  What is Old Man Webster to do?

Sherriff Shelly:   Kitty Kat over at the café said Old Man Webster will have to move on and with the eviction notice, sooner then later!

The Widow:         But if Old Man Webster moves on, He will not be able to supply my butcher, with the delectable livestock that graces our Sunday table!  This does not seem like the Christian thing to do to one of our fellow townspeople and renters.  Sherriff Shelly, I will have a talk with Pastor Brusic but don’t think that Old Man Webster is going anywhere!  I will pay for the pipe organ myself if I have to.

Sherriff Shelly:   Dearest Widow, you are a good Christian and neighbor!  I will talk to Old Man Webster and share with him the good news.  But what will you do with Pastor Brusic?  He is a zealous man that does not take no for an answer.  Ben the butcher did not even know about all this until I asked him about it.

The Widow:         Come back tonight and play along, Sherriff Shelly.  I turned a blind eye to the good pastor for too long. Us old women he has been bullying around are going to have our day.  The church council is meeting here in my home at 6pm.  Come about 6:30 and bring Deputy Daisy Dog.  Don’t knock, just come straight in and make sure to bring Daisy in as well.  Then play along with what surprise I have for our good Pastor!

Sherriff Shelly:   The good pastor proclaimed I was going to hell earlier today when I let him have it.  Are you prepared for his proclaiming the same of you my dear widow?

The Widow:         Sherriff Shelly, I sure hope you did not take that old wind bag seriously did you?  He is a pompous old cuss, but he did visit me daily after I lost Arthur.  However, lately I have been on to his manipulative ways.  He was not pasturing to me as I thought.  He was just looking for a manipulate-able old woman who could protect his worthless hide from good men like Ben the Butcher who wanted him gone long ago.  I have been a silly old gal, but I can see now I have been aiding and abiding the devil himself.  Well tonight, we will see who is in hell and who isn’t.  My Darling Sherriff Shelly, it will not be you or I!

Sherriff Shelly:   I need to call upon you more often! You are as wise as your years!  Well, Daisy and I will be off!  Don’t want to tip off our good pastor!

Narrator:          Sherriff Shelly whistles to Deputy Daisy Dog and off they go to share the good news with Old Man Webster.  The Widow sends out her staff to call together her small army of grey haired council members, and puts on something other than the black she had worn since the passing of her husband.  Clay Oxen is a quiet town but you could taste something was in the air.  Tune in Tommorrow for the conclusion of “The Good Pastor Brusic”.

The conclusion of The Good Pastor Brusic

Scene four:  Old Man Webster

Old Man Webster:   Deputy Daisy Dog and Sherriff Shelly! Two of the loveliest girls in Clay Oxen. I suppose you have heard that I am being forced off my farm!  A man even if he does not own his land becomes one with the land he works.  I don’t know what I am going to do.

Sherriff Shelly:   Old Man Webster, I have good news for you!

Old Man webster:   you don’t say?

Sherriff shelly:   I do! Your good neighbors don’t want you leaving us!  I talked with your good friend Ben the Butcher and the Widow.  They did not know what the Good Pastor was up too.  Do you know why the Good Pastor wanted your farm?

Old Man Webster:   Yes, the Pastor does told me I was going to hell for being a Baptist.

Sherriff Shelly:   Whoa! I thought it was for a pipe organ!

Old Man Webster:   A pipe organ is what the Pastor said he was going to get after he destroyed me.  He said he was going to drive this “heathen” from his flock.  Sherriff Shelly, do you think I am a heathen?  I love my neighbors, I try to be a good man.  I don’t abuse my livestock or try to do any evil.  I have not been able to sleep.  I told Pastor Brusic that you would stop him!  He laughed and said that you were going to have to serve the eviction notice on me tomorrow morning! I thought all was lost.  I have been praying for days now.  This is great news!

Sherriff Shelly:   Mr. Webster, you need to talk to the Widow.  She is a great woman of faith.  She will tell you that you are not going to hell.  She told me the same thing today!  The good pastor told me I was going to hell earlier this morning.  However, if the widow has planned what I think, our Good Pastor Brusic will be in hell before you and I ever get there!  I just wanted to share the good news with you and I think you should send the good widow a good roast for Sunday, she is a big fan of yours and a good Christian neighbor!

Old Man Webster:   I will do just that! In fact, I will thank her myself when I deliver it!

Sherriff Shelly:   I have to get back to town, the widow wants me and Deputy Daisy to show up at her home at 6:30 for the show!  God Bless Mr. Webster and I will let you know how everything shakes out.  I just know it won’t be tomorrow morning!

Old man Webster:   praise God! Thank you Sherriff Shelly and Goodbye Deputy Daisy!

Deputy Daisy:      “bark”

MUSIC:             cue act 4 outro music

commercial

MUSIC:             cue act 5 intro music:

Scene five: In a hurry

Deputy Daisy:      Bark, Bark!

Sherriff Shelly:   I know, can you imagine the gall of that Brusic?  Turning the whole congregation, against Old Man Webster because he was a Baptist!  I never liked him, but now I really dislike him.

Deputy Daisy:      “bark!”

Sherriff Shelly:   I hope the widow is strong enough to stand up to the good pastor.  This could really be interesting tonight.  I love being out here in the country but Deputy Daisy, we better get going back to the jail and get ready for the show tonight at the good widows!”

Deputy Daisy:      bark, bark

Sherriff Shelly:   Daisy, we don’t have time for a game of fetch! We have to get a move on pup!

MUSIC:             cue act 5 outro music

commercial

MUSIC:             cue act 6 intro music

Scene six: The good Pastors hell

the widow:         Sherriff Shelly, welcome to my home! We are in the middle of the Congregations Council meeting won’t you join us?  We are just discussing the rental increase and eviction of Old Man Webster so we can aquire the new pipe organ.

Sherriff Shelly:   I see, so I came right in time.

Pastor Brusic:     Sherriff Shelly you should have the common decency not to drag that mongrel in the fine Christian home of the widow.  Get that mutt out of here!  I told you earlier today that you were a heathen and I am telling you, you will go to hell!

Sherriff Shelly:   Pastor, you told me earlier today that if I don’t repent and ask you forgiveness I would go to hell.  The only person I ask forgiveness of is Jesus the Christ, same as Old Man Webster.

pastor Brusic:     Sherriff, you have exposed yourself now aligning with the heathen Old Man Webster!

Ben The Butcher:   Order! Order! I am calling this meeting to order!  Now Pastor! Old Man Webster and our Good Sherriff are neither heathen nor going to hell! Is this how you represent this congregation to the good town of Clay Oxen?

pastor Brusic:     Ben, you do not know what you say! Old Man Webster is…is a Baptist!

Ben The Butcher:   A Baptist?  Is this what this has all been about?  Pastor Brusic, you are a bigot that we do not need serving us no longer!  Old Man Webster is my best supplier and never have I met a better Christian man.  I wish I could say that about my pastor but Mr. Brusic, I certainly cannot say that!

Pastor Brusic:     Ben you are a simple butcher and do not know theology!  Baptists, Catholics, Mormons, they are all heathens and will taste the fires of hell.  For your impudence I will have you expelled from our congregation.  Good Widow lets take a vote right now on expelling the butcher, Old Man Webster from our congregation and town.  Sherriff Shelly you are next, we will put forth a campaign to take away your job next!

The Widow:         My good pastor, You were there for me when my darling Arthur left this world to be with Christ.  You visited me every day as I was inconsolable with grief.  I want to thank you for that.  Tonight, it will not be our good Butcher Ben that leaves this congregation.  It will be you. Even in my grief you pushed me to gather your flock against the good men and woman of this congregation.  I was not pastoral care you offered me but power as you manipulated me to thwart good men like Ben of dispatching your position sooner.  By the way, Deputy Daisy is always welcomed in my fine home. You are not.  Members of the council I hearby move that we vote on evicting our Good Pastor Brusic from his position and look for a replacement immediately.

Ben the Butcher:   I second that, all in favor?

Council:           “Yea”

Ben the Butcher:   “opposed?”

Narrator:          There was silence, and the matter was passed quickly and the good pastor Brusic now slumped in his chair at the head of the table slid out grabbing his coat and made for the door.

sherriff shelly:   Hell is right here on earth Brusic, when you set out to harm your neighbor instead of love them as Christ commands us.  I suggest you repent to Christ tonight, Christ will forgive you and you can serve your next congregation instead of being a tyrant of it.

Pastor Brusic:     I just may have too, Sherriff Shelly, good day.

MUSIC:                  cue the outro music

Narrator:          Reads the credits and cast of Characters.